A Salut to the Week Before Dead Week

Welcome to the real world, jackass!

While today marks the first day of a week of brutal hell (with the bursting flames and an ugly, horned Lucifer relishing in my misfortunes) for me, most of my friends and peers won't be feeling the heat until later next week (aka Dead Week aka the week that all the things are due before finals give you a good kick in the junk). I mean, I know Dead Week is going to be terrible, but I'm not even finished with this week, and I'm already throwing myself into the fetal position while cramming a week's worth of food in my mouth at one time and crying all the tears Leonardo DiCaprio has ever cried in any movie ever.

In high school, I never truly experienced a Dead Week because we pretty much kept learning until the very last minute, but, in college, you don't just keep learning. You also continue to do a million assignments that teachers have decided to assign at the very last possible minute. Why, professors? Why?!? I'll never understand the thought process behind this bologna.

In the next 8 days, I have one test, one 8 page paper over a book I haven't finished yet, and a 2000 word short story (that I imagine brutally stabbing at night) due. With all that in mind, you can probably safely assume that I am counting down the days until I am free to not do anything but make cheat sheets  smart study decisions for the two finals I actually have to go take. Meanwhile, I'm trying to calculate what kind of grades I may be able to pull off if I put in half my usual effort. (ha! just kidding. ha! no I'm not).

This week, the Pre-Dead Week Week, is basically the week where my mind is just like "Oh, that can wait until tomorrow! Tonight is definitely the time to start rewatching the second season of Degrassi: The Next Generation even though you've watched it a million times before!"and then I blow off reading from my book or even going to the gym to workout.
It's like the stuff I could be doing to lessen my Dead Week load refuse to be done. Almost like my mind wants to sabotage both my sanity and my GPA. Probably. It wouldn't be the first time my mind has ruined my chances at happiness.

So, pretty much, I'm either going to pull a Carrie and burn the town down, or I'm going to end up doing all the work last minute. Both options are quite tempting, but I really don't have the motivation to do either. So, I guess, here's to the rest of my life. Ugh.