The Romantic Gesture

I write more about romantic stuff than I actually do romantic stuff. Is that part of the curse of being a damaged writer who is forever single? Probably. 

So, I saw this retweet by Taco Bell on twitter (duhhh) and it was a girl talking about how she got asked to her prom via a verde sauce packet. Like, I guess he got a packet that had a blank white place to write your own message and he wrote "Prom?" in the space and gave it to her. Okay, maybe it is just the hopeless romantic that nests in my body all year long talking and controlling my mind, but this totally made me want a boyfriend (and no, not a creepy guy from the internet). And so I started to think about all the perfect ways a guy could propose going steady with me or asking me on a date that would just be completely irresistible to my girlish wonder.

Number one, and this will forever be a school girl fantasy for me, is through one of those stupid elementary school check-yes-or-no notes. I don't know why this approach to romance is so damn appealing to me, but it I don't think I could ever not say yes to one of those bastards (unless, of course,
the guy was a bastard... and then the cards change). Of course, sadly, I'm at an age now that doesn't really think that kind of gesture is appropriate. Instead, we just bump and grind and have casual sex with people we have no emotional attachments to. Adulthood, everyone! 

Number two is really for my inner fatass... also, I kind of stole this from The Princess Diaries, so shoot me. Anyway, a guy orders me a pizza (preferably cheese because who doesn't like cheese? Oh, right. Lactose intolerant bitches!) and then has the pizza place write out "Will you... [insert desired action here]?" in Sour Patch Kids on top. I know, it sounds totally gross, but I would eat the Sour Patch Kids before eating the pizza... maybe. Okay, I'd totally try them together, but who cares?   But, really, who could say no to that? Personally, I can't say no to pizza ever, so that's the best way to win my heart.

-___- Desmond and Daniel = Constants 4ever

Number three is also food related (damn, how have I lost 65 pounds with this much food on my mind?).  Okay, so, the guy gets a custom fortune cookie fortune made and puts it in a fortune cookie (really, Angela? you don't say?) and gives it to me after getting me chinese food. Of course, the fortune says something really cute like "Hey, sexy. Be my constant. Love, Daniel Faraday" or "Eat together, fat alone. jk. Let's be fat together." The LOST references are not optional.

Finally, concert proposals. I have been to way too many concerts where girls get proposed to by their boyfriends on stage or during the show at some point. I want that. That is like the most badass gesture in the book of gestures. If a guy could get, say, Jon Foreman, lead singer of Switchfoot, or another relevant member of a band to be like "Hey, this guy loves you lots. Go out with him/ marry him, okay?" That'd probably have a very high feedback rating. But that's just my opinion.

So, pretty much, my stomach is my heart. But is that really a surprise to anyone? 

Today, I'm Gonna Eat

I love food. I love eating food. I love smelling food. I love ordering food. I love looking at food. Yeah, so I pretty much love everything about food and eating. The only thing I don't like about food is that it is limited and will be gone eventually. It's one of the things that keeps me alive, so why wouldn't I love it? Some people, though, seem to think that you can't eat if you want to look good. Apparently, the only way to get skinny is to become a rabbit and only eat like nothing at all every single day. Uh, no.

In the last 9 months, I've lost 60 freaking amazing pounds (and I'm still dropping, by the way). I guess that is supposed to make me an expert on health and fitness and weight loss (well, that's just what I assume from all the questions I get about what I do or if I have any tips on how someone else can drop some weight). Newsflash, I'm not an expert. I just saw weight loss as a no-brainer after a while. Also, I've been on so many damn diets and nutrition plans over the last 20 years of my life, that I already had a general idea of what you need to do to boost your health and drop some lard.

If there is one piece of advice I could give anyone trying to lose weight it's this: please eat. 

I'm constantly asked by people who knew me before I shrunk a million sizes, "Angela, what do you eat? Girl, you look so good!" I eat whatever the hell I want. That's my answer. While I have adjusted my eating habits (for instance, I don't stuff my face full of junk food all the time. Common sense, guys), I don't restrict myself on anything. I don't see the point. I love food way too much to police myself. That just creates misery. Plus, at least when I don't see numbers drop the scale, I know why.... unlike if you're not eating and not dropping.

My goal is to look good, feel good, and be able to live life. If I get down to a size 6 and can't eat Bruce's freaking orgasmic taco soup because I'm afraid it will cause me to gain weight or that it will make me any less beautiful than I already am, that's not living. There are so many fattening meals that I haven't tried or even imagined yet, and, dammit, when I get a chance to eat those things, I want to be able to jump right in without thinking twice.

The other night, I was talking to my friend Taylre about needing new jeans because my current pairs are a bit large on me, and she made an amazing point. She said that she'd rather buy new pants than stop eating cookies because cookies are the shit. (Those aren't her exact words, but whatever).  Gaining weight or a bit of pudge in the stomach is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you're ugly or worthless or something nasty. It just means you need new clothes. 

So, yeah, today, I'm going to eat and not worry about my weight. I'm going to eat because my body needs food. Hungry and skinny doesn't equal beautiful or healthy. So, if you're hungry, go eat. Go eat whatever sounds good. Your body is probably trying to tell you something. I always listen to my cravings to see what my body needs. You should too.

Lesson learned: I love a plate of nachos that is bigger than my head. I'm a classy girl, guys. 

***This week's National Eating Disorder Awareness week. If you'd like to learn more about being informed about eating disorders, check out this article on ActiveMinds.***