Today, I'm Gonna Eat

I love food. I love eating food. I love smelling food. I love ordering food. I love looking at food. Yeah, so I pretty much love everything about food and eating. The only thing I don't like about food is that it is limited and will be gone eventually. It's one of the things that keeps me alive, so why wouldn't I love it? Some people, though, seem to think that you can't eat if you want to look good. Apparently, the only way to get skinny is to become a rabbit and only eat like nothing at all every single day. Uh, no.

In the last 9 months, I've lost 60 freaking amazing pounds (and I'm still dropping, by the way). I guess that is supposed to make me an expert on health and fitness and weight loss (well, that's just what I assume from all the questions I get about what I do or if I have any tips on how someone else can drop some weight). Newsflash, I'm not an expert. I just saw weight loss as a no-brainer after a while. Also, I've been on so many damn diets and nutrition plans over the last 20 years of my life, that I already had a general idea of what you need to do to boost your health and drop some lard.

If there is one piece of advice I could give anyone trying to lose weight it's this: please eat. 

I'm constantly asked by people who knew me before I shrunk a million sizes, "Angela, what do you eat? Girl, you look so good!" I eat whatever the hell I want. That's my answer. While I have adjusted my eating habits (for instance, I don't stuff my face full of junk food all the time. Common sense, guys), I don't restrict myself on anything. I don't see the point. I love food way too much to police myself. That just creates misery. Plus, at least when I don't see numbers drop the scale, I know why.... unlike if you're not eating and not dropping.

My goal is to look good, feel good, and be able to live life. If I get down to a size 6 and can't eat Bruce's freaking orgasmic taco soup because I'm afraid it will cause me to gain weight or that it will make me any less beautiful than I already am, that's not living. There are so many fattening meals that I haven't tried or even imagined yet, and, dammit, when I get a chance to eat those things, I want to be able to jump right in without thinking twice.

The other night, I was talking to my friend Taylre about needing new jeans because my current pairs are a bit large on me, and she made an amazing point. She said that she'd rather buy new pants than stop eating cookies because cookies are the shit. (Those aren't her exact words, but whatever).  Gaining weight or a bit of pudge in the stomach is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you're ugly or worthless or something nasty. It just means you need new clothes. 

So, yeah, today, I'm going to eat and not worry about my weight. I'm going to eat because my body needs food. Hungry and skinny doesn't equal beautiful or healthy. So, if you're hungry, go eat. Go eat whatever sounds good. Your body is probably trying to tell you something. I always listen to my cravings to see what my body needs. You should too.

Lesson learned: I love a plate of nachos that is bigger than my head. I'm a classy girl, guys. 

***This week's National Eating Disorder Awareness week. If you'd like to learn more about being informed about eating disorders, check out this article on ActiveMinds.***

The First Post...

... is always the hardest to write. 

Take it from someone who has started (and eventually abandoned) dozens of blogs over the last 7 years or so. I know what I'm talking about. Now, I don't consider myself a professional or even a novice at blogging, so don't put me on a cushioned, velvet throne just yet. I make tons of mistakes all the time. I've just done this so many times, that I know exactly what kind of mushy, gross anxiety newborn bloggers are feeling the first time they sit down to write a post.

I'm not required to make this post. It's just something I have to do.
This is part of my nest-building routine.
Yes, as silly as it might sound, this blog is my nest.
I'm building a home (Isn't it really cute and adorable? :D) for myself and for bigger possibilities in the future.

I'm never sure how to leave my first mark on this blank canvas. Do I talk about myself? Do I just jump in headfirst with my eyes shut tight and hope that I'll hit the water? Who am I even talking to? Who is my audience? Do I even have something worth saying? Is it too late to just not do this? Did I put on deodorant this morning? These are the questions I ask myself every single time I start a new blog. And I still don't have the answers!

Pointblank: blogging is scary. It's mortifying. And it is really awkward at first. 

For the first time in a really long time, I'm aiming to write for an audience. 90% of the blogs I've had in the past have been zones for me to just let everything go. I didn't want anyone seeing that part of me, so I kept it so far on the down-low that it probably wasn't even on the radar for site traffic. I can't do that this time. It's not just me talking to myself anymore. Someone somewhere at some time is going to read this post. That's scary to think about. 

The first post is the hardest to write because it just is. You might not have a voice or a rhythm yet, and that's okay. For instance, this post is so jumpy, it's a little embarrassing, and I might actually come back to this weeks or months from now and literally slap myself for not making much sense or having any guidelines. It's also perfectly fine to suck and make tons of mistakes at first. Maureen Johnson, author of 13 Little Blue Envelopes, once said that the best way to become a better writer is to suck. Suck all you can! I mean, look at me! I'm still sucking!

I just know I love to write. For me, that is a good enough reason to abandon my insecurities, my worries, and my panic and to embrace that ball of nerves twerking in my stomach right this very moment.

So, if you're reading this and are nervous about taking that first leap into the swimming pool of blogging, go for it. You'll never regret it. Trust me, the water is fine. Just watch out for the trolls and pornbots. ;D