Stop! In The Name of Tacos

It's inching towards 2 am right now, and I am embracing the fact that I have no obligations tomorrow by not going to bed at a decent time. Yes, how lucky am I that I am still young enough to stay up late yet also responsible enough to not be out doing anything illegal or dangerous or, you know, God forbid, fornicating out in the streets of Tulsa on this lovely Friday night. Instead, I've got "Paradise City" playing at maximum volume and mug of hot tea resting between my thighs with absolutely no one to disturb the peace.

I have this thing that I do when I'm bored and avoiding doing anything that might actually come across as productive. Basically, I go on iTunes and I listen to the song previews of songs I think I might want to go download illegally purchase. Little does iTunes know because I don't really have the funds to just throw around on random songs from over the course of history. Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave right now, I'm sure. Anyway. Back to my oddness. Tonight, I might have resorted to doing just that thing that I was talking about before I got slightly distracted.

I don't know if everyone is aware that iTunes has that genre selection thing where you can pick to see songs from a certain category or whatever. Well, I accidentally clicked on that and saw that iTunes had a selection of classic hits. I was curious, so I tapped that sucker. Long story short: I ended up on the song listing for Diana Ross and the Supremes (aka "I can't see the lead singer behind this skeleton but her back up singers look good"). Please, just don't even ask how I end up doing or listening to the things I do because I don't even know.

Before I know it, I have a photo editing application open and I'm working on the finest masterpiece I believe I have ever thought up. 

I mean, I don't know about any of you guys, but I am seriously surprised that I am the first person to put a supreme taco in the place of The Supremes. Because I Google'd that shit and nothing came up. 

Perhaps we could make a game out of replacing things in pop culture with food items or just random things. Please, give me some suggestions for the next time I'm super damn bored. 

The Romantic Gesture

I write more about romantic stuff than I actually do romantic stuff. Is that part of the curse of being a damaged writer who is forever single? Probably. 

So, I saw this retweet by Taco Bell on twitter (duhhh) and it was a girl talking about how she got asked to her prom via a verde sauce packet. Like, I guess he got a packet that had a blank white place to write your own message and he wrote "Prom?" in the space and gave it to her. Okay, maybe it is just the hopeless romantic that nests in my body all year long talking and controlling my mind, but this totally made me want a boyfriend (and no, not a creepy guy from the internet). And so I started to think about all the perfect ways a guy could propose going steady with me or asking me on a date that would just be completely irresistible to my girlish wonder.

Number one, and this will forever be a school girl fantasy for me, is through one of those stupid elementary school check-yes-or-no notes. I don't know why this approach to romance is so damn appealing to me, but it I don't think I could ever not say yes to one of those bastards (unless, of course,
the guy was a bastard... and then the cards change). Of course, sadly, I'm at an age now that doesn't really think that kind of gesture is appropriate. Instead, we just bump and grind and have casual sex with people we have no emotional attachments to. Adulthood, everyone! 

Number two is really for my inner fatass... also, I kind of stole this from The Princess Diaries, so shoot me. Anyway, a guy orders me a pizza (preferably cheese because who doesn't like cheese? Oh, right. Lactose intolerant bitches!) and then has the pizza place write out "Will you... [insert desired action here]?" in Sour Patch Kids on top. I know, it sounds totally gross, but I would eat the Sour Patch Kids before eating the pizza... maybe. Okay, I'd totally try them together, but who cares?   But, really, who could say no to that? Personally, I can't say no to pizza ever, so that's the best way to win my heart.

-___- Desmond and Daniel = Constants 4ever

Number three is also food related (damn, how have I lost 65 pounds with this much food on my mind?).  Okay, so, the guy gets a custom fortune cookie fortune made and puts it in a fortune cookie (really, Angela? you don't say?) and gives it to me after getting me chinese food. Of course, the fortune says something really cute like "Hey, sexy. Be my constant. Love, Daniel Faraday" or "Eat together, fat alone. jk. Let's be fat together." The LOST references are not optional.

Finally, concert proposals. I have been to way too many concerts where girls get proposed to by their boyfriends on stage or during the show at some point. I want that. That is like the most badass gesture in the book of gestures. If a guy could get, say, Jon Foreman, lead singer of Switchfoot, or another relevant member of a band to be like "Hey, this guy loves you lots. Go out with him/ marry him, okay?" That'd probably have a very high feedback rating. But that's just my opinion.

So, pretty much, my stomach is my heart. But is that really a surprise to anyone?