Trust.

Trust (along with communication and overall compatibility) is one of the key ingredients in any lasting relationship (either platonic or romantic). Honestly, I'll be the first to raise my hand and say that I'm not one to jump on the trust train when I meet people, and that a lot of people don't see me as a proper candidate for someone they want to put their trust in at the end of the day. I have major trust issues because of life experiences, and I have broken the trust of others by doing and saying really stupid things over the years. I'm not perfect, but I'm sure that everyone was already aware of that fickle slice of information. 

In the hustle and bustle of trying to woo someone over or even maintain something that's already been constructed, it is fairly easy to forget to show that you trust someone AND that you're worthy of being trusted. Like cooking bacon, if you leave it alone for too long, something is going to end up burnt, and, let's face it, burnt isn't tasty and it isn't something you'd want to invest your time in. That crap is going straight for the trashcan.

Something happened recently (not something bad, for all those who will read this and assume that some kind of God-awful thing happened) that reminded me that trust is not a simple thing, and it comes in all types of forms. Growing up, trust meant keeping secrets. (Don't tell Bobby that Judy has a crush on her,  Don't tell Lisa she's getting an American Girl sleeping bag for her birthday, etc). Trust was created through verbal agreements like promises and pinky swears. It wasn't until recently that I realized trust can be shown in ways I wasn't even aware of during my adolescence. I've realized I trust others more than I thought.

If I sing in the car (even when I know I don't sound good) when I'm with you, I trust you. If I let myself eat half a pizza while sitting across from you, I trust you not to judge me for being such a fatass. If I allow myself to fall asleep right next to you, I trust you. If I let you touch me at all, I trust you. If I let you see me cry, I trust you. If I let you read my writing, I trust you. If I tell you things you know no one else knows, I trust you. If, despite the struggle I'll put out, I watch something scary with you, you better bet your booty that I trust you.  If I let you in, I trust you.

The catch, though, is that that trust can be gone in a blink of an eye. 

At the end of the journey, I want to be able to look at the people I've brought along with me and know that I'm not going to be betrayed or hurt by any of them. Sadly, I've lost a lot of cool cats along the way so far because of trust issues. As I get older and a little bit wiser, though, I've learned that anyone who didn't cut it has had something in common with the others who also didn't cut it.

I want to be surrounded by those I love and those who send love in return. Is that too much to ask for?