Say Yes To Pizza

If I have any true beliefs, I can firmly say that I believe in not dieting. I grew up on diet plans and supplements, so I know what it's like to have to be stuck in an abstract box of bland food and zero chance of anything close to resembling pizza. I'll never tell anyone to diet, and I will never go on another diet as long as I live. With all the crash dieting and the promotion of suspicious pills being sold by doctors and "health" distributors today, I just don't see how anyone even wants to be on a stinkin' diet. I would much rather eat pizza than diet. And, sure, people will read this and say that they need to lose weight or that they are happy eating rabbit food or doing a juice cleanse. All I have to say to those people is simply this: no. 

No. NO. NO. NO!

Like, do you even know what a diet is? Did you fall asleep during middle school health class on the day when they talked about nutrition and exercise and why the body needs food? Because I'm starting feel like no one really knows anything about the definition of a diet when they decide to "go on one," whatever that means. I just want to take a moment to look at the definition of "diet" according to whatever popped up when I googled "define diet," okay?

Hmm...

No, wait. That's not right...

That's better! 

For some stupid reason, people have forgotten that a diet is what you eat. That's it. Your diet is whatever the hell you stick in your mouth. So, yeah, that pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust you ate entirely by yourself last night was definitely on your diet. And that Chinese takeout you indulged in? It's on your diet too! But guess what! Those fruits and vegetables and 8 glasses of water you're supposed to be getting every day are also on your diet. Do you see what I'm getting at? Like those taco shell commercials, you can have both.

So, from now on, maybe people should stop this nonsensical "dieting" thing and just eat what is good for you while still eating some of the things you love. With a steady exercise regime and a positive attitude, you'll be way happier than if you were starving yourself or popping pills.

Your body needs food to function, guys. That's all I'm saying. Like they sing in that song about crossing the street on Barney & Friends, "I always stop, look, and listen, when I walk across the street." Do the same thing when your stomach cusses you out for not feeding it when it needs food.  Always listen to what your body is saying. It's full of secrets.

Also pizza. Sometimes. Always.