I'm On A Bus!

One of the many perks to living in an apartment now (you know, rather than those stinky resident halls I was stuck with LAST year) is that I get to commute to class every single day by the bus. I know what you're probably thinking, and I agree one hundred and five percent. Me? On a bus? With no control over any of the driving or passengers that get on board? Yeah, I can barely stand it. Plus, it makes me kind of nauseous because CAN ANYONE SERIOUSLY DRIVE A STINKING BUS WITHOUT HITTING ALL THE POTHOLES AND JUMPING THE CURB?!?!

The University of Oklahoma is a very diverse school, and you're bound to meet people of all kinds of ethnicities and nationalities and sexualities and other identifying factors. That being said, there are a lot of people that I see on the bus that I can't help but be a little mesmerized (and also slightly scared) by. For instance, I got on the 9 am bus to get to campus for my 9:30 class, and half the bus didn't seem to speak English. Cool, you know. It's not like I was planning on eavesdropping on all y'all so I'd maybe have some good blog material. Whatever. I don't need you and your cool Korean backpacks. I've got my Prada backpack and my sketchers (please tell me someone gets this reference!).


Another great thing is that full-on anticipation that suddenly fills my britches as I wait for the vacant seat beside me to be filled by another person's questionably proportioned backside. I don't judge anyone based on their size, but I'm pretty sure that everyone has that instant fear that an overly bootylicious señorita or baby daddy is going to plant themselves down next to you in any kind of small seating area (ie. movie theaters, buses, airplanes, classrooms) and crush all your vital organs.

So, you know, I'm pretty much analyzing everyone who boards.

Me: *sees someone getting on the bus*
Me: Oh, do you got da booty?
Me: You doooo!
Me: *prays they take a seat somewhere else*
Me: *sees a very delicate Asian girl with absolutely no ass*
Me: You are worthy of this seat! Come hither!

But, as we all know, life isn't something you can always control. Sure, I didn't end up having my body crushed on that particular bus ride, but there's always another time. Then again, maybe that's a big man upstairs giving me motivation to make MY butt even more non-existent than it already is right now. (If that's the case, you're horrible, Morgan Freeman!)

Then it can get awkward because I could actually make conversation with the people around me, but why would I put myself through that kind of torture? I mean, I'm already awake at an unholy and definitely unchaste hour of the day (not quite the crack of satan's ass, but maybe somewhere between his thighs?) so why should I be expected to make my situation worse?

It's honestly probably the longest 10 minutes of my life.

So, this was only day one. I still have many more days of this to endure, and I really hope to survive all of those days. That'd be really nice.

Well, here we go junior year!