10 Tips for Incoming College Freshman

Probably. It's college after all.

With my newly engaged "oh-my-god-I'm-going-back-to-school-in-like-3 weeks" panic, it kind of hit me that  I'm not the only person preparing to pack up all the shit I thought I was finished dealing with when I finished unpacking it (finally) just a few weeks ago. I'm sort of a lucky one seeing as I've done this juggling act multiple times now. I mean, does it get any easier each year? No, not really, but I've definitely learned so much from just living and going with the flow of things. 

So, for any readers headed back to college for either the first time or the millionth, I've compiled some tips I think might be helpful in one way or another.

1. As you pack your stuff to move to your residence hall, apartment, or house away from where you normally reside or keep a majority of your things, try to clean your room. The cleaner you leave it when you head out the door, the happier you'll be when you come home for any weekends or major holiday breaks.

2. Don't overpack. I am definitely guilty of having overpacked my freshman year of college. I pretty much thought it was best if I took everything I could possibly need (aka everything I owned). Unless you're unsure of the climate changes in the city or state you're moving to, or are moving so far away from home that you have no other choice, don't take your winter clothes with you when it is still 110 degrees outside. Also, don't take clothes you don't wear. What? You think college is going to suddenly make you want to wear that skirt you bought a year ago that still has the price tags attached? No. If you haven't worn it since New Year's, don't take it. Donate it or sell it. As for books, movies, and other knick-knacks, be conservative,

3. Take advantage of amenities your tuition pays for. Most schools give every student a gym membership with their tuition. My school has tons of locations to play outdoor sports. If you want to avoid becoming sluggish or GASP! gaining the glorious freshman 15, I strongly suggest you go hog wild while you're not paying for these things right out of your own pocket. Also, if your school has a stupid fee for walking on the damn grass, you better walk on that damn grass every single day.

4. Don't pull all-nighters if you don't have to. Personally, I have never in my whole life pulled an academic all-nighter. I love my sleep way too much to even consider it. If you're like me, do your work ahead of time so you're not scrambling the night before to finish a 10 page paper comparing evolution and creationism. You'll thank yourself in the long run.


5. Make a friend in each of your classes. Not only will it make going to class more enjoyable, but you also won't feel like a total outcast if you don't already have friends in that lecture or lab. They are helpful for when you miss a class because you're too hungover or just too lazy. You can easily email or text them asking for missed notes, assignments, or any announcements the professor might have made during that class period. Plus, HELLO! Study buddy! 

6. Join student organizations at the beginning of the semester. Don't be the person who spends all their time in their room playing video games alone or studying. College isn't just about academics. It's also about making friends, making connections, and learning to interact with new people.

7. Orientation weekend is a goldmine! Free everything! Take advantage of any coupons, free shirts or other gear, free food, and learning about what's happening on campus. Also, local businesses might have booths set-up, so walk around and take a peek. Also, and I can't stress this enough, if there is a booth with free safe-sex resources, TAKE THEM ALL. Ain't nobody got time to a raise a baby or nurse an STD/STI. Even if you don't plan on having any kind of sexy times until you're married, take them. They may come in handy at some time for either you or a friend. 


8. You don't have to like your roommate, but you still need to respect them. Think common courtesy. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Don't be THAT roommate who makes tons of noise while the other sleeps or have unannounced sexy times without a little warning. Maybe make some kind of roommate agreement when you move-in to insure that things won't be a living Hell for both of you.

NOTHING MAKES SENSE ON MY BLOG ANYMORE! 

9. Majors are for schmucks (sometimes). If you don't have any idea what you want to major in or even what you might want to do after college, no sweat. Tons of college students go undecided until the very last possible second. Take your time taking the classes that sound most interesting to you, and then go from there.

10. Make it your own experience. 

So, hopefully some of those tips helped you out. And if not, I don't care. I'm just a junior in college with a blog. What do I know? 

Now That You're An Adult In College ...

Because your breath smells terrible and it's blowing in my face right now

... You should already know how to tame your horrendous assfart morning breath. Please don't make me sit next to you in class or in a car or just be in the same one-mile radius of you if you have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad smell protruding from your mouth. No, coffee doesn't make your breath smell better. It makes it worse. Like way worse than you can probably imagine. Have you ever tried eating or popping a piece of gum in before heading out into the real world? Brushing your teeth doesn't finish the job. Please, don't kill me this early in the morning. I am a good person (kind of), and do not deserve this kind of torture.

... You should already know how to share communal spaces. Didn't we learn this in like pre-school when we were 4? I'm pretty sure I spent most of my time when I was 4 picking my nose, watching Barney and Friends, and peeing my pants, yet I still managed to grasp that shared spaces are shared... not dominated by your rudeness and inconsiderate nature. Why are you still not understanding that if 4 people are sharing a dorm bathroom, you can't pretend that you own the shower and can just casually leave every single shampoo, conditioner, and razor that you own in it? Are you the spawn of Satan? The same goes for getting your fugly hair out of the drain when you're finished. I ain't no maid. I'm not going to clean that shit up for you because it's disgusting. Don't get mad at me when I move your over-priced salon shampoo because I need to put my stuff there for my 15-minute shower. I paid for that space too.

... You should already know no one is required to like or even tolerate your whiney self. Remember how in elementary school everyone was forced to get along and you had to be nice or you'd get in trouble? You can pretty much forget all of that. Yes, you should respect people because that is common courtesy, but you are not required to be associated with assholes and douchebags and bitches who you don't even like. Thus, if I don't like you or want people to think I like you because I really don't like you, I'm probably going to avoid you at all costs. Please don't take my absence as me playing hard to get or fearing that I might come on as clingy. That's not it. I just don't like you. And you don't have to like me.

... You should already know how to keep your crush on the professor a secret. Yes, I'm talking about you, girl in my religious studies class. We all know you're hot for teacher. Not only does it make him uncomfortable, but it also makes class just a tad bit awkward to sit through. It's like watching animals at the zoo mate. No one really wants to see that, so, please, keep it in your pants, girl. He's married, and you're... you, so I think it's safe if you just keep your creepy affections to yourself. Yes, he's hot. Everyone knows he's good looking in that weird teacher way, but you don't see anyone else flinging themselves at him all through class. Just saying.

... You should already know that the real world isn't a nice place. Yeah, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but it's kind of mostly true. People are mean and sometimes shitty stuff happens to sort of-okay people. You're probably not the only one who is having a bad day or week, so please don't act like it. We're all living in this world with you, so we get it. And, you know, we'd all love to hear you complain or read your 3 am tweet rant from last night, but we really just don't care. If this was the 7th grade and Johnny Bravo had kissed your arch nemesis and your mom forgot to put a pack of Disney Princess Fruit Snacks in your lunch, we'd probably understand and sympathize. But it's not the 7th grade. This is  adulthood. Suck it up.