A Salut to the Week Before Dead Week

Welcome to the real world, jackass!

While today marks the first day of a week of brutal hell (with the bursting flames and an ugly, horned Lucifer relishing in my misfortunes) for me, most of my friends and peers won't be feeling the heat until later next week (aka Dead Week aka the week that all the things are due before finals give you a good kick in the junk). I mean, I know Dead Week is going to be terrible, but I'm not even finished with this week, and I'm already throwing myself into the fetal position while cramming a week's worth of food in my mouth at one time and crying all the tears Leonardo DiCaprio has ever cried in any movie ever.

In high school, I never truly experienced a Dead Week because we pretty much kept learning until the very last minute, but, in college, you don't just keep learning. You also continue to do a million assignments that teachers have decided to assign at the very last possible minute. Why, professors? Why?!? I'll never understand the thought process behind this bologna.

In the next 8 days, I have one test, one 8 page paper over a book I haven't finished yet, and a 2000 word short story (that I imagine brutally stabbing at night) due. With all that in mind, you can probably safely assume that I am counting down the days until I am free to not do anything but make cheat sheets  smart study decisions for the two finals I actually have to go take. Meanwhile, I'm trying to calculate what kind of grades I may be able to pull off if I put in half my usual effort. (ha! just kidding. ha! no I'm not).

This week, the Pre-Dead Week Week, is basically the week where my mind is just like "Oh, that can wait until tomorrow! Tonight is definitely the time to start rewatching the second season of Degrassi: The Next Generation even though you've watched it a million times before!"and then I blow off reading from my book or even going to the gym to workout.
It's like the stuff I could be doing to lessen my Dead Week load refuse to be done. Almost like my mind wants to sabotage both my sanity and my GPA. Probably. It wouldn't be the first time my mind has ruined my chances at happiness.

So, pretty much, I'm either going to pull a Carrie and burn the town down, or I'm going to end up doing all the work last minute. Both options are quite tempting, but I really don't have the motivation to do either. So, I guess, here's to the rest of my life. Ugh. 

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!

Where do the days go? Seriously. Every single day of the last week, I have had to ask myself where the time goes. There just simply is not enough time in a day to complete all the tasks I have! Between doing that whole school thing I'm supposed to do according to society, eating, being the most amazing best friend this world has ever seen, and doing homework, I find myself trying desperately to score a moment of peace and quiet with myself. Like, is it possible to actually die from lack of time with yourself? If not, I might just be the first case.

The preccciouuusss time!

While I'm totally pulling a total-girl-move by counting down to when I'm able to go home for a week for spring break, I can't help but realize how much work will be crammed into the next 32 days of my life. There will be midterms (do these even serve a purpose? I mean, c'mon! Save a tree, skip a midterm!), papers to write, assignments to bullshit, boring readings to not read, tons of social events that I will probably avoid, and lots of sleep lost! It's going to be so stressful. My Sour Patch Kid and mozzarella cheese stick intake will probably be at an all-time high! My point is: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

Every day, I make a to-do list on a Post-it Note. For the last week or so, I've had "Read 100 pages of The Bell Jar" marked down. This book has been literally sitting right next to me for the last week, and I haven't even touched it. It's not because I haven't found time to read any of it. It's just because I don't even feel like reading it. How hard is it to admit to yourself that you don't feel like doing something you find enjoyable almost all the time except for when you don't feel like it? It's really hard. I can't say exactly why I've felt so distant from my book (probably because I have a feeling this book will ruin my life because Sylvia Plath). One day, though! But until then, it's like this book is just staring at me constantly. Taunting me.

Sounds like a good I'd like not reading..

Me: *looks at book and decides not to read it today*
Book: Angela
Me: *pretends not to hear voice coming from book*
Book: Read me!
Me: No, not today...
Book: DO IT!!
Me: No, I'm above the influence.
Book: Party-pooping stick in the mud!
Me: What?
Book: What?


I know that eventually I will get to reading this book, but, for now, I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT! Remember, I love reading. I probably do more reading for fun than a lot of people my age. Why is that? Hmmm. Probably has to do with alcohol and someone handing out free condoms somewhere. 


What we've learned here is that sometimes it's okay to not do something just because you don't feel like doing it. Now, that's not okay if, say, your cat died and it's rotting corpse is just lying on your bedroom floor because you don't feel like burying it or taking it somewhere to be properly disposed of. I'm just saying. That shit ain't pleasant to smell. (Then again, cats aren't pleasant to smell when they're alive either). Also, it's probably best if you shower and brush your teeth when you don't feel like it. It's just common sense, guys. Don't be disgusting.