Thirsty Thursday: Smallville Edition

For the last 5 days or so, I've been furiously watching the first season of the hit TV show Smallville (mind you, there are like 10 seasons, so I probably won't be finished until like Halloween at the rate I'm going). And while I will openly admit that I get hooked on things very easily, this show was really not something I anticipated. It's amazeballs, and I don't know how this happened. Well, I do, but that's really not important.

The thing I do when I watch things is I mentally create drinking games for it. This show did not escape my thirsty wrath. So, I've compiled a list of rules for Smallville season 1 (and I'm sure many of these apply just as well with the other seasons, but I guess I'll find out for sure soon). Here we go:

What you'll need:

• Season 1 of Smallville (please, feel free to illegally stream it like I did if you're too poor to actually go buy it somewhere)
• A shot glass (preferably one that is a little dorktastic, ie. one from a gift shop or Spencer's)
• Your alcoholic beverage of choice

How we play: 

• Take a shot any time Clark wears plaid
• Take a shot any time Clark is way too polite
• Take a shot any time a piece of the meteor rock is seen
• Take a shot any time Lifehouse is played in the background
• Take a shot any time you think anyone got a boner 
• Take a shot when you get a boner over practically naked Lana in "Nicodemus" 
• Take a shot any time you feel like laughing about how Whitney's name is Whitney
• Take a shot any time Lex expresses feelings about how he became bald (i.e.. the day the meteor hit)
• Take a shot any time Mr. Kent turns down money from Lex
• Take a shot any time Lex expresses daddy issues 
• Take a shot every time bugs are involved in some way
• Take a shot any time Pete enters the scene on account for him being the token black character
• Take a shot every time Chloe swoons over Clark 
• Take a shot every time Clark gets friend-zoned by Lana 
• Take 2 shots any time they show bad driving
• Take a shot any time someone dies
• Take 3 shots when Lex kills that old woman with his sexiness 
• Take a shot any time the Kent's discuss protecting Clark's secret 
• Take a shot every single time they say "Save me!" in the opening theme song (this may be lethal, I haven't tested this yet)

UNF.

While I haven't actually played this game yet, I'm pretty sure that if you follow the rules, you'll be drunk in the first few minutes of the show.  I mean, I know I'd be blacked out just getting through the theme song, but I'm a rare case.  Do I need to put some kind of disclaimer so I don't get sued for influencing others to drink crazy amounts of alcohol within a 45 minute time frame? 

So, happy drinking and happy viewing! I'm sure I'll be back with your tips on how to get really drunk really fast sooner rather than later.

Disclaimer: Please drink responsibly. You may want to test the game using cherry Kool-Aid or something like that so you know what you're actually getting yourself into so you don't actually die on account of you being a real damn idiot.